Looking for a bridesmaid or a maid of honor some may think is so simple. However, one of my current clients’ had a big dilemma in choosing her maid of honor and her bridesmaids. I asked why, given that she has many friends and family members to choose from. It just so happens she gave me a list of reasons and I was actually perplexed about the fact that I never stopped to think about it. Hence, after talking to her, I decided to share some thoughts to ponder before asking – “Will you be my bridesmaid?” with you.

  • Body language is key …are they genuinely happy for you?

One of the first things a newly engaged bride to be will do is, scream out to the world to say that she is engaged.  Most brides jump to wedding mode and pretty much have somewhat of an idea as to whom they would like to stand for them. Sometimes the first people to know about the happy news are the closest friends whom they already have in mind to ask, to be their maid of honor or bridesmaid. One way to find out whether your gal, whom you’re considering to be your bridesmaid/maid of honor, is to know her body language when you break the news of your engagement to her. Will she or they be genuinely happy for you with big smiles and genuine hugs or honor you with halfhearted smiles? Chances are, on the day she will have a halfhearted smile or a long face with a fake smile for the pictures.

  • Has she or they been with you through thick and thin?

Ever have a girlfriend or a friend or two who knows you so well and who has been through thick and thin with you? She/they just might be the perfect maid of honor, matron of honor or bridesmaid.

Photo courtesy – Laurence Bartone Photography 

  • Will she be helpful on your big day?

Ideally the maid of honor together with your bridesmaids need to help you out, carry your veil, keep your bouquet, ribbon you up, help you with your dress, maybe host your bridal shower, help with last minute wedding details like wrapping favors etc.…Time to consider whether the gals you’re going to choose will be helpful as their titles entrust them to, or whether they will be the ones who constantly seek attention on your big day?

  • A gorgeous looking bridal party??

Most brides would want her bridal party to look good on the day and to take gorgeous pictures. But are you one of those brides who go the extra mile to make sure all her brides maids are less good looking than you? Or are you a bride that genuinely wants her good looking besties in equally gorgeous attire to surround her?

Photo by Troy Grover Photographers via theknot.com 

  • Have they rooted for you and your hubby to be from the very beginning?

We all have our opinions. I’m sure most of your friends did give their opinions when they first met your then boyfriend and now soon to be hubby. When considering such friends with opinions, consider before asking, whether they’ve been a great supporter of the two of you from the beginning. Such a friend or family member would be a great candidate to be maid of honor or if she’s hitched a matron of honor.

  • Will you just stick to friends or family?

Will it be a rad group of friends who will stand beside you or will you stick to family or mix it up? Mixing family and friends will give you a great balance of people who knows you with different perspectives. Consider mixing family and friends if you have the luxury of doing so. But again the pointers mentioned above will give you a helping hand when choosing the right group.

  • Have you considered having a man of honor?

Yes I’m sure most of us have watched the movie Made of honor. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having ‘another man’ beside you to support you. Some of us have male best friends. Consider asking them to be your man of honor.

Have you considered any other pointers before asking “Will you be my bridesmaid?” Share you thoughts and comments.

Until Next time…


Featured image/header image Photo by Sarah Dawson Photography